I have been suppressing my feelings way too long. I thought it was time to stop. Stop lying to myself that everything is going to be ok. Stop thinking that I'm able to go through all this alone. Stop tolerating the bullshit that wasn't even meant to be for me in the first place. Stop being treated as a substitute or replacement for anyone. Stop laughing like a stupid motherfucking bitch over every stupid unfunny thing when I'm just dying or cursing deep inside. Stop being "me" because you want me to be. Stop being the "ok" girl. Stop being the one who have to cover all the shit because everyone else don't want to. Stop being the one who have all the responsibility towards everything. Stop giving in to you.

I may have a stupid sucky attitude that you have to face everyday, but you know what? Yours isn't going to be any better for me to take. Stop giving me the disgusted look because I seriously think that I should be the one who is doing all this to you, at least I'm not disgusted just because of your physical appearance. I know I'm fat and everyone else is more than sure about this but I don't think it would be reasonable for you to give me the disgusted look just because I eat more than I should. You look at me as though I'm committing a crime. Call someone to get me then? Putting me in a jail is going to be far better than staying in this crap especially when its going to be filled with even more crappy people soon. If slimming down is so fucking easy like what you and others have fucking said, then the fucking ones who have fucking advised me should be fucking fit, but ironically, fucking fat as well. Come on, tell me something more convincing please. If I appear to be so disgusting, don't ever forget, I may have got them from you.

I don't wanna talk about how much love, care and concern you are suppose to give me because this will be way too much for you , I'm just talking about basic human rights here. I want to start being treated fairly. I don't see why I'm so different from the others that I have to tolerate all the shit that people don't want to. I seriously getting sick of picking up your socks, folding your underwear, washing you dishes and whipping up a meal that never seems to satisfy you! Could you just please tell me what you want so that you can stop giving me hell? I changing into someone I don't know. I can't feel what's inside anymore because I don't even have the right to cry. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to feel, I don't know when will all this stop and I don't know when can I tolerate till.

Mad Chio and Expressive. I like ;)

Yea, I know its different from the one I wanted initially cos I cant find any.
So, I got this. My bro said IT SUCKS, while my dad was all smiles. I don't know whether I like it or not, but I know its something different from what I have, so its a new start.